Hammered Bros was created by Tray M. and Corbin M., two childhood friends who grew up through Nintendo, Genesis, and awful memories. They are not related by blood even though their last names start with “m” but they are related by the alcohol content in their blood. Tray is socially stable while Corbin is a one-man AA meeting; two very contrasting personalities but together they are able to apply bizarre sciences to all of those illogical “what if” conversations. They played a lot of games together and always analyzed them to the point of creating new philosophies no matter how stupid they are. However, all of their gaming experiences took a lengthy change of direction once they discovered alcohol. Even today, they are not sure what direction it’s suppose to move in but it’s actually the only sane thing in their lives.
Tray and Corbin will be:
- Writing reviews from Nintendo games to present day consoles.
- Analyzing and discussing new gaming concepts.
- Breaking down the science of game play mechanics.
- Reviewing movies, gadgets, alcohol, and almost anything related to this site’s genre.
About Tray M.
Tray was raised by his alcoholic father in a chaotic household. There are two types of alcoholic father figures. Some get angry-drunk, insult everyone, and break everything around them. Others get too plowed to do anything but complain and pass out snoring. Tray’s father is latter. Fortunately for Tray, his family wasn’t very strict with video games compared to Corbin’s mom. He managed to put together a good Nintendo collection and even had a Sega Genesis. If not for the Genesis Corbin and Tray wouldn’t have became friends that faithful 3rd grade afternoon on the school bus. Tray played his wide share of Nintendo games and drew level design maps for games he wanted to improve. These days Tray is happily living with his significant other and manages to find a lot of private time to play games while she’s not looking.
Getting to know Tray
- Was the only white kid in the county that could throw down some mean Street Fighter
- Can now officially out-drink his old man
- His favorite beer is empty
- Loves whiskey but cannot drink vodka because something will be set on fire
- Should own stock in Taco Bell
About Corbin M.
Corbin was raised by a single mother with his only sibling, his little brother, always away at the baby sitter’s house. He didn’t have cable TV as a kid and was always alone drawing weird things to keep him busy. The rest of his attention went into playing Nintendo games. His mom rarely bought him games, instead she rented them for Corbin. Good thing for him he was able to experience the best games and also the worst of the worst. Today, Corbin is happily unmarried, cynical and likes to read up about the game industry during his quiet moments of meditation; when he’s taking a shit.
Dating facts about Corbin
- He takes the women of Warcraft to Circuit City on movie dates.
- Asks women out on dates over AIM and breaks up with them with text messages
- His favorite type of beer is Brugse Tripel, the only classy thing about him
- Loves whiskey too but cannot drink tequila because he’ll end up robbing a bank
- Dresses like he’s just had sex
- Snores when he’s awake
Our Game Rating System
There are 5 categories that is rated between 1 and 5 with half points in between.
Art Direction: In our old articles, we used to call it “Graphics” but with all the next-gen graphics, this past category became irreverent. We are now looking at the artistic creativity of the game. This relies on character design, costumes, monsters, items, etc. An old PS2 game like Odin Sphere would rank a 5 because of its unique and beautiful hand-drawn world. Who cares if Halo has rad lighting effects, Master Chief still looks boring.
Gameplay: This rates how well a game plays in regards to logical button layouts, fun factor, and overall how you feel when controlling the game. A high example would be God of War and on the low-point would be Rush n’ Attack for the NES (you have to press up to jump and kill armies with a shank!).
Concept: Tray and Corbin are big on story telling and deep plots. Now, we’re not comparing this to movies or novels but we’re seeing how far they can take it in the video game medium. All the Final Fantasy games were about fighting an omnipotent evil and getting the girl — yawn! But just because it is a rehashed formula doesn’t mean it will automatically receive a 1. New twists and turns into a traditional storyline will rank the game highly.
Audio: This ranges from the actual music score to the sound effects. If a game ranks highly in this area, we will be talking about it a lot and explain why.
Replay Value: Tray and Corbin are old farts with jobs so they don’t have time to replay most games and unlock all of the secrets, it doesn’t mean that they’ll rank it low either. Corbin has unlocked everything on Resident Evil 4 and Ninja Gaiden (Xbox) but that doesn’t mean that he would rank God of War low in this category even though he didn’t replay the game.
